"The Only Thing Constant in the World is Change."

This is an interlude I listen to regularly from India Aire's sophomore album. It's something  I have to remind myself when I  find I'm resisting what God had planned for me. It's easy to accept change when it's something you have planned and wanted. Okay, easier I should say because I have definitely been guilty of hesitation and procrastination when I've gotten close to have something I've always wanted. Self-sabotage, fear, feelings of inadequacy ( Do I really deserve this?) Of course me being, The Queen of Self-Esteem, after a few minutes of reflection and meditation and I can say, Hell yeah I deserve it! or I'm going for mine, if I fail, so be it, I'll just keep going!  
But what about the change you're not ready for? Like when I was 13 and I had to move in with Aunt because my grandmother's illness and my bad attitude was too much for the household to handle? ( When she died, this situation would become permanent.) Or when I got pregnant my freshman year at UMASS and I had to transfer to a more local college after I had my son?  Or when I realized after 7 years together, and five months before our wedding that I could not live a fruitful life if I married my first love and father of my son.  All things unexpected, all things they made my life wonderful in the end.
With the unexpected changes that have taken place lately in my life, (both physically and career-wise)  I initially went into panic mode. Fear, anxiety, frustration, and a bit of depression. All along in the back of my mind, I know surrendering to the bigger plan is what I must do, but it still doesn't stop my juvenile-like personal response. I have to have my private temper tantrum, give myself a timeout, and then SURRENDER. Who I am not to trust the divine plan? Yes, I have free will, but I'm just a small part of an elaborate design. So I lace up my big girl boots and I get ready to take on the next big challenge, that in the end, will make me a better, stronger person.  And then I say, THANK YOU.