I finally got it 2011

It’s usually so easy for me to self-reflect at the end of a year because I list all my accomplishments. Last year this time had so much I was proud of, so much that I had set out to do and did. This year I don’t have a list, I have a learning experience. It started off finding I was pregnant in January. Then I found out in April that the classroom I had been teaching in for 6 years was closing and I would be teaching in a different building, with a different position. A place where I’d taught summer school for years but had no real desire to be at full time. Not to mention I’d be starting my day an hour and a half earlier, and driving further while dealing with a new baby and daycare. The uncertainty consumed me and I threw a hissy fit inside. How was I to deal with it? Around the same time, I was forced to stop teaching Zumba because my belly was growing and it just became downright difficult. So there was my extra income and my release of tension.





This year I also had to question people in my circle, in the immortal words of Jay-Z: Friend or Foe???? Not just friends, but family too. You expect hate from certain people but when it comes from those who are supposed to love you, it’s hard to swallow. Unfortunately, it happens, and all too often. Why wouldn’t they want to see you happy and accomplished?? Don’t get me wrong, I understand why, but I don’t understand why family, why so-called friends.



The number of times I’ve performed spoken word this year, I can count on one hand. The list of things I wanted to do as far as promoting my book, but didn’t, I can count on two hands. I can’t say I don’t miss the momentum I had going.





I’m sure it’s sounding like 2011 was bad, but of course, it wasn’t. The job I dreaded beginning is actually enjoyable. I feel more connected to my school than before and I am in a position where my talents and skills an educator can be seen and utilized. In addition, here is my list accomplishments: (because sometimes you just need to see it.)





Nurtured and birth a healthy baby boy who lights up my life





Got engaged





Acted for the first time on stage (since 4th grade)





Wrote for an online magazine





Featured at the Langston Hughes Center in NY (he is my poetic boo)





Launched a website for my memoir





Applied for two higher education positions





Sent my book out to literary agents





Captained a team for the American Cancer Society’s relay for life





And perhaps the most important (next to the whole baby thing), I learned to stop and smell the roses then accept the fact that seasons change!





That was the lesson that God had in store for me all year long. I was moving much too fast to chase my dreams that I didn’t take the time to enjoy life. I had to slow down. Momentum is good but speed is not. I accept the fact that sometimes we create change in our lives and other times we have to surrender and embrace change. That means on the job and in relationships. I had to let go of a lot of control this year, and sometimes it was like pulling teeth. I had many moments where I felt completely helpless. In hindsight, or reflection should I say, I realized that it was all necessary and a part of my path…going through it to get to it, as they say.





In 2012 I am looking continued growth on all levels but at a slower, steadier pace. I say this as I recall India Aire’s song Slow Down (you’re going too fast, you got your hands in the air and your feet on the gas. That was me, and now I got it, God. I got it. Happy New Year!