Never Dormant

Everybody’s talking about it. Jay-Z new album 4:44, his

proclamation that he is grown and woke as hell. Although

I’ve only heard a few tracks (I don’t have Tidal or Sprint), the

social media posts have prompted me to delve deeper into the

lyrics and all I can say is I dig it!  Apparently, I’m not the only

one because he's trending like crazy and quotes from his songs

are all the rage on every timeline I have. While some are

cheering the evolution of Jay-Z, others are saying that he’s

stating the obvious when he speaks of obtaining wealth over

becoming hood rich, when he talks about the importance of

being a responsible father and husband. As an artist myself, I

totally understand how what you write about is a reflection of

where you are on your journey. I published my first book A

Piece of My Mind…Poetic Confessions of a Self-Proclaimed

Diva in 2007…10 years ago. Most of my poetry was a

declaration of my self-esteem and love (mostly love gone

wrong), with a few poems about my Blackness and being a

teacher.  I was careful of who my audience was since I had

written to poems in my late teen years, it was geared towards

teens and young adults.

This is what the updated cover looks like 

Two years later, in my second collection, there were fewer

love poems, and they weren’t about breaking up. Instead, the

poems were about falling in love. There were more pieces

about the Black experience, some celebrating greatness, but

many more were about my growing frustration with

Black stereotypes and white people’s failure to understand

our struggle in America.

Yes...I use my image on every cover

There was also a chapter of erotic poetry because I was deep

into discovering my sexuality and I decided I wasn’t going to

be shy about it.

Plus, people who saw me perform erotic poems

were looking to take home what they saw on stage in the form

of a book. I used the title Outspoken…Poetry for the Bold

because I aimed to be intentionally risky.

 It was five years later that I released my third poetry

collection…after the murder of Trayvon Martin, after 10 years

 in teaching in alternative schools, and 8 years of running a

mentoring program. My eyes were wide open! In Truth

Tastes Better with a Side of Rhyme there would be no love

poems unless they were about encouraging people to love

themselves, to celebrate blackness and teach people about

our struggle. It was about death…finding acceptance and

closure and in some cases still searching for it. In Truth I was

a mother, mentor, advocate, and motivator. I wanted my

message to be heard, so I was careful about my use of

profanity.  I felt like I had the help of my ancestors in writing

that book.

My most recent poetry book Self-Titled was released in 2016. 

 I am in no way comparing myself- to Jay-Z (I’m not a

billionaire, I’ve never cheated or sold drugs, and my cadence

has nothing on his flow). However, I will say that Self-Titled,

much like 4:44 is my declaration that I too am grown and

woke as hell.

  It is all Black Woman, the pain, and pleasures, the serious

and the seriously sexy.  I address how the black man and

white America treats us, and how black women should treat

each other. And I do so unapologetically because I’m unafraid

of criticisms.  I pay homage to my past experiences.  I am

vulnerable as ever in how I reframed heartbreak, pain and

loss into lessons and in the words of India Aire…there is a

blessing in every lesson.

Kudos to Jigga Man, Jay-Z, Sean Carter,  for evolving from Where I'm from" to "Big Pimpin" to leaving a "Legacy" and still shouting out the streets.  The message is just as important as the delivery, and while he or I may not speak to all the masses, we are heard by those who need to hear it, and  it is spit to them in their language.

I finally got it 2011

It’s usually so easy for me to self-reflect at the end of a year because I list all my accomplishments. Last year this time had so much I was proud of, so much that I had set out to do and did. This year I don’t have a list, I have a learning experience. It started off finding I was pregnant in January. Then I found out in April that the classroom I had been teaching in for 6 years was closing and I would be teaching in a different building, with a different position. A place where I’d taught summer school for years but had no real desire to be at full time. Not to mention I’d be starting my day an hour and a half earlier, and driving further while dealing with a new baby and daycare. The uncertainty consumed me and I threw a hissy fit inside. How was I to deal with it? Around the same time, I was forced to stop teaching Zumba because my belly was growing and it just became downright difficult. So there was my extra income and my release of tension.





This year I also had to question people in my circle, in the immortal words of Jay-Z: Friend or Foe???? Not just friends, but family too. You expect hate from certain people but when it comes from those who are supposed to love you, it’s hard to swallow. Unfortunately, it happens, and all too often. Why wouldn’t they want to see you happy and accomplished?? Don’t get me wrong, I understand why, but I don’t understand why family, why so-called friends.



The number of times I’ve performed spoken word this year, I can count on one hand. The list of things I wanted to do as far as promoting my book, but didn’t, I can count on two hands. I can’t say I don’t miss the momentum I had going.





I’m sure it’s sounding like 2011 was bad, but of course, it wasn’t. The job I dreaded beginning is actually enjoyable. I feel more connected to my school than before and I am in a position where my talents and skills an educator can be seen and utilized. In addition, here is my list accomplishments: (because sometimes you just need to see it.)





Nurtured and birth a healthy baby boy who lights up my life





Got engaged





Acted for the first time on stage (since 4th grade)





Wrote for an online magazine





Featured at the Langston Hughes Center in NY (he is my poetic boo)





Launched a website for my memoir





Applied for two higher education positions





Sent my book out to literary agents





Captained a team for the American Cancer Society’s relay for life





And perhaps the most important (next to the whole baby thing), I learned to stop and smell the roses then accept the fact that seasons change!





That was the lesson that God had in store for me all year long. I was moving much too fast to chase my dreams that I didn’t take the time to enjoy life. I had to slow down. Momentum is good but speed is not. I accept the fact that sometimes we create change in our lives and other times we have to surrender and embrace change. That means on the job and in relationships. I had to let go of a lot of control this year, and sometimes it was like pulling teeth. I had many moments where I felt completely helpless. In hindsight, or reflection should I say, I realized that it was all necessary and a part of my path…going through it to get to it, as they say.





In 2012 I am looking continued growth on all levels but at a slower, steadier pace. I say this as I recall India Aire’s song Slow Down (you’re going too fast, you got your hands in the air and your feet on the gas. That was me, and now I got it, God. I got it. Happy New Year!