6 weeks later...Easier said than done

On October 4 I gave birth to a beautiful baby boy Elijah Langston (named after my poetic boo Langston Hughes.) The next day my boyfriend proposed. Then when I got home from the hospital, reality set in. I was slowly learning to surrender with the pregnancy, but I had no idea it would have to continue AFTER. Nor did I realize how much my patience with myself would be tested. The first thing was my new body. I would wait 6 weeks before I could be my regular energetic self. I would have to take it easy and not over exert myself. Easier said than done. While everyone is at work and school, you look around and laundry that needs to be done, a bathroom that needs cleaning, and vacuum cleaner that needs to be fixed so the floor can be vacuumed. So I had to decide, do I sleep while baby is sleeping and wait until everyone gets home so they can clean, or do I do it myself? Do I make bottles or try to make myself look like less of a mess. Yes my self-confidence was shaky as I looked at the bags under my eyes, or at the leggings I was tired of wearing because my uterus had not shrunk and my  stomach looked like a deflated soufflé. It is so real. You just wish you could snap your fingers and get yourself back. Then I look at my outdated website, and deadlines for the publications I write for. I could take a break, but I don’t want to.  So the last six weeks have been a flip flop back and forth between do this, or do that?? And feeling like I haven’t gotten enough done during the day. But the logical side says “HELLO you just gave birth and you are on maternity leave. LET IT GO!”  Easier said than done. But here I am six weeks later, slowly trying to get my groove back. My strategy… take one thing at a time introducing things back in my life. First exercise, then writing, then promoting myself, eventually I’ll be back on the mic (Can’t wait.) I do what I feel like doing. SO If I wanna get cute just to sit in the house, I will. I f I don’t feel like brushing my teeth until 2pm, so be it. I can’t lie some days I still feel like flip flopping ( do this or do that while he's napping), but for the most part I think I’m getting the hang of it. I think I can finally get over asking myself, “How will I do it all?” I’m Brenda’s Child, making things happen is what I do!