Aristo...what????

I’ve come to the conclusion that I am aristoway. See part of me is reminiscent of an aristocrat, in that I carry myself like nobility. I am an educated woman who seems to be living the American dream…career, home ownership, opportunity. I read books (and write them too), I mentor, and I give back to the community. Hell, I don’t litter. I don’t care about flashy, pricey clothes, expensive cars or any other thing that might be stereotypically connected to someone of my upbringing. Many of my peers are in the same boat financially, educationally, etc.  Additionally, I try to surround myself around people who are going places, and not ones who are stagnant. But at the end of the day, my mother was born in the rural South, my great-grandfather was a sharecropper and son of a slave, and I was raised in a predominantly Black neighborhood, or what we call “the hood.”


I lived in the projects and drank 40 ounces.I've fought on the street, had family against family royal rumbles.  My aunt buying a home was a big deal. Me graduating from a four-year college was a big deal. Me being the first in my family with a Master’s, even bigger deal. This is where the away part comes in. At the heart of it all, I’m still L.L Cool J’s eternal ‘Round Away Girl. I can “break hearts and manipulate minds, or surrender act tender is gentle and kind.” In a good pair of shoes, I can “walk with a switch and talk with street slang.” This book and street smart combo have actually helped me with my career, but for the rest of my life, I will float back and forth between both sides.

On one hand, I'm disgusted with bad hair weaves ('cause I keep mine is tight), or people who spend more money on labels than they can afford. I despise women who date drug dealers once they are over the age of 25. I am angered by people stuck in the short term thinking, people who are satisfied with government handouts and swear they are “independent”. Those who are young (19 to 24) I try to lead, for those who are my age I avoid. (Hmmm...maybe I should try to shed some light their way???) . I have little patience for people who make excuses and are shaming our ancestors.

But then there’s the ToyaB who understands the struggle; that the system is set up to fail us. I am Pro-Black, viva revolution all day when comes disadvantages and injustice to our people.  I understand why it's easier to not try. Then there’s Latoya who says, so what? Prove them wrong. Back and forth.

Sometimes ToyaB takes over completely; I start talking loud, using my hands, spittin’ derogatory terms, dropping F bombs. Sometimes I find myself reverting back to ToyaB, ready to whip some ass, becoming confrontational and caring less about people’s feelings. (Luckily Latoya reminds her that she has a job she doesn’t want to lose otherwise I would have caught a case a long time ago.)

As I said before, sometimes it’s an advantage when I’m trying to reach youth. I can understand and show them that there is life beyond torn down buildings, and the block.  Then other times it feels like I stumble when I have a hood moment or though. After I snap back to reality and accept that I had a moment I say " Oh Well!" But this is who I am, an aristoaway. This is why I am wonderfully imperfect and full of complexity. This is why I will always be Latoya and ToyaB