I FINALLY LOVE MY BULKY BELLY

There is something awesome and mind blowing about really, truly beginning to love your body. As I am thinking more and more about my impending double mastectomy, which involved taking the lovely fat from my abdomen to replace the breast tissue, I’m thinking about the parts of miss I’ll miss. Each blemish and scar tells a story, and I am just now getting it. The stretch marks I abhorred as a 19 year old, I now treasure as a reminder that my grown man was once a baby growing inside of me. A baby.  A baby who I loved and shaped into a grown up. Not one baby, but two babies. 

 I have scars from having my gall bladder removed at 22, which reminds of when I was highly over weight and unhealthy.  According to the doctors chart, I’m still over weight. But at 22, I was living off snickers bars, Pepsi soda, and KFC because I was working so much and on the go. I wasn’t exercising, I was eating lots of white starches and simple crabs, and mindfulness was a foreign concept to me. It was after this procedure I rediscovered exercise, switched to ground turkey and whole grains, and made water an addiction. Not to say, I still don’t crave fries and pizza, but I made life long changes that I could commit to. I discovered, meditation, pilates, yoga, zumba that I could do a 5k.
 On my lower right side is the scar from when I had my appendix removed.  And I was 7, so it was the old school "cut you open", in the hospital for 2 weeks, type of surgery. This little 2 inch long scar transports me back to that moment when I was in the hospital crying   “No” because the doctors said that I would need surgery immediately.  My father was so disturbed by my tears, he cried.I remember overhearing my grandmother tactfully tell him to basically man up, come back in the room and tell me that I was having the surgery and I would be okay. I was okay. I missed Halloween that year, but I got to get a happy meal with a chocolate shake in one of those jack-o’-lantern trick or treat buckets 
 as one of my first meals in the hospital. 


My latest scar is from having my ovaries removed the beginning of my journey to combat a disease that my grandmother and mother didn’t have the opportunity to.  And perhaps the most precious part of my stomach is my belly button...  proof that I was one connected physically to my mother by this remnant of an umbilical cord. And though a flat stomach is stomach I’ve always desired since Janet Jackson first introduced me to midriff, I love my ample, imperfect stomach, rolls and all. It still surprises me that today I’m so enamored by a part of my body that was the bane of my existence from age 11. 

Why Exercise???

According to the American Heart Association every minute a woman dies from heart disease. Most of us  know that maintaining a healthy weight, eating right and moderately exercising can reduce our risks. The latter, exercise, for some of us is one of the easiest things to eliminate from an overbooked day. There are numerous information sources out there that educate us on how we can make it happen: scheduling it in our planner as an appointment, exercising during the commercials, buddying up, taking the stairs. My personal favorite are squats while cooking. Whatever the case it is indeed critical for our health that we fit in in whether through intervals or in an hour, whether its salsa lessons or walking. Here are my personal benefits of exercising that maybe you didn’t of:

·         A new wardrobe twice a year ( in a smaller size)

·         More energy ( to do your to-do list)

·         Decreased PMS symptoms (my family loves this)

·         Feeling powerfully strong ( Wonder woman)

·         Exuding  a new sexiness ( which can increase libido)

·         A round butt that was formerly flat (squats)

·         Cute workout clothes (more shopping)

·         Networking ( thanks to group exercise)

·         Less cravings for vices ( wine, chocolate and carbs)

·         Or feeling less guilty about that glass of  wine (because you burned 600 calories)

Happy Exercising!

This is where I am

So...almost two months into my new year, and I have to say, I'm still excited and very proud of myself. First, I have stuck to the wine and beer only thing, which was tough in the beginning, but I have officially been able to say no to the Grey Goose. Secondly, I have really slowed down on my lunch break and made time for myself. As a result, I am a lot more peaceful and less scatter-brained.
I've been really consistent with my morning ritual (except some weekends where I PLAN to be unproductive and lazy.) And I have officially kicked my dunkin' donuts habit, saving myself $40 bucks a month. I actually LOVE my homemade coffee, and brewing it is apart of my morning ritual.
What am I most excited about... the fact that I brought myself 5 pairs of jeans, all a size 10!!!! Yes, that's right, I released 8 unnecessary pounds. I am really on my way. I have to say, I've done well with the healthy habits, but I have partaken in takeout. Not to make excuses, but a sista is busy working three jobs, mommying, and mentoring. However, I noticed I crave it less, and eat less when I do. My appetite has noticeably decreased...awesome!

As far as my book, I'm making steady progress. ( more than 3/4 done) It's tough writing about yourself. It's coming together just how I envisioned, though more slowly, thanks to real life. But my illustrator working on the cover and I plan to be done very soon.
I've had trouble with telling folks I love them. I know it's probably some deep-rooted issue. My son is the only it comes easy for. Everyone else gets in cards and thank you letters. But to actually vocalize it is tough. Still working on it.

I've decided to get another teaching license in either English or History to go along with my special education license. The more marketable, the better.

In the fall, I 'm looking at going for that Ph.D. (Maybe) I've already contacted a program, but I need to make sure I'm really committed before I begin. In the meantime, my Diva Showcase is this year.


But I will get my certification as a Zumba instructor in April.

I love to set and reach goals, it's exciting to complete one thing and move on to the next. I'm happy that I am content with my ambition right now because often times I'm frustrated with it.

So far, I guess I would say, once again...I'm right where I'm supposed to be.
What about you? How are u doing?