So, I've been thinking a lot lately how we "sistas" don't necessary treat each other like family, but more like enemies, and I just want to know, does it all come down to envy? It's like as long as she has some sort of flaw, overweight,unattractive, uneducated...then she's cool. But curse her if she has it all, a career,beauty,body, great personality,talent, and man, then she's a B**** or she's stuck up, or conceited, or whatever other negative term we can assign her. Think about it, if Tyra Banks looked like Sheryl Underwood (You know, the monkey bread lady from the movie Beauty Shop), then she wouldn't get the slack she does now. I love Tyra, she's beautiful, talented, a hell of a business woman, and she gives back. And I don't even wanna go there with the things I read about about Beyonce. People constantly try discredit her, and wish her failure. I remember when I saw the online video of her falling on stage during her tour, people said, "That's what she gets!" Why, because she knows how to gain world wide appeal and has been a superstar since her teenage years? Or is it because she's drop dead gorgeus even without weave, and a body to kill for? Even her humble attempt to fix what Kanye did to Taylor Swift on the VMA's did not go unmet with negative remarks. For whatever reason she gets labeled an undercover B****, which I just find hard to believe. But hey, I don't know her. I mean, we love Queen Latifah, because she was the heavy set tomboy, we love Oprah because she publicly struggled with her weight, and hasn't been seen as a sex symbol.We love Mary J. because she came from the hood, and Keyshia Cole.But had they been college educated and lived in suburbs, would we feel the same?
I just know that it bothers me that we can't just love and support one other; that we smile in each other's faces, but secretly despise. Instead of looking at each other of inspiration, many Black women look at each other as competition, and it's disheartening.
I'm the type to wish my people well, because success for you, means success for all of us. On the other hand, I've been a victim of what we call, "hatin'" and I couldn't understand because I wasn't even where I wanted to be yet. But it was the energy I felt, the behind my back talk. Craaaazy!
It's just like the coffee cup video featured below, you gotta focus on you, not everybody else. And perhaps if we genuinely support and uplift our "sistas", good will come our way.
Recently I 've met a few women who show nothing but love and encouragement, and at first I was distrustful because if you weren't in my circle, I'd think you had ulterior motives. Now I'm slowly learning that just because I got burned by other so called "sistas" doesn't mean I shouldn't open my heart and mind to the possibility of real ones.
Now that I've vented, feel free to follow me and post a comment. Am I wrong? Do you agree or disagree? What are your experiences? Is it just the "sistas" or do other races do it? I wanna know
So I totally had tears swell up in my eyes when I heard Kelly Rowland’s “Dirty Laundry” because it touched on sooo many topics. Specifically for me was the friendship aspect. It’s so hard to be happy for your friend (or family) when you’re going through some sh*t. It’s not so much jealousy as it what I call cloudy. You want to be happy, but you are so unhappy it’s ridiculous, and you can’t see past anything else. I remember going through that when one of my friends went away to college, met her a husband, got married, bought a house, and did it all in the right order. Here I was, going to a local college, a single mom, and living in an apartment. But, and I write about this in my memoir, it wasn’t my time. I couldn’t find the one for me until I was ready mentally and emotionally. I thought I was healed but I wasn’t. I had to struggle as a single mother so my testimony could touch others like me. I had to be the one to show and prove that all is possible despite obstacles. Now I know this. So when I hear Kelly I can relate, and now that after several attempts, she’s finally making her mark, it is no surprise. When your spirit and mind is right things will fall into place. Until then you can’t be jealous, or become cloudy and distant because things aren’t how you want right now. Instead reach out; look for resources and people who can help you get to where you need to be. This may be a spiritual leader, a good friend, a mentor, or sometimes just our inner self when you listen. This is what I try to instill in those around me who feel I have it all and have become distant,shoot...'cause I 've been there, done that!
