Fake love, No Love

 I forgot all about the Billboard awards  on TV, but it was no coincidence that as soon as turned the channel Drake was accepting his first award of the night. He spoke about a so called “friend” who didn’t support him because the "friend" felt that he got enough love from other people. Immediately I could relate. I've had people not compliment me because I already know I’m cute, people not support me they figure everyone else is, or because they don’t want me my head to get bigger. I have several responses for this type of nonsense. Firstly, there are only a few people’s opinions that matter to me, so chances are a compliment or a throw of shade will not affect my high ass level of self-esteem. This is not a front, I know I’m fabulous! Secondly, because soooo many other people support me, you can’t? Really? True friends support regardless of who doesn’t. Thirdly, why don’t you admit that this isn’t about me, or the “so many” other people who support me, it’s you being a straight HATER.   Maybe it’s not necessarily that you want to be me, but you want to be LIKE me, out here loving me and chasing my dreams. And since you can’t love yourself, how can you possibly love me correctly? You can’t, so float on.

Yes, it would be that easy for me because the older I get the less tolerance I have for people who aren’t authentic and who are so caught up in their own insecurities it distracts them from living their lives to the fullest, and having healthy relationships. And furthermore, it’s exhausting always having to carry people and all their baggage. No ma’am, not in 2017. Not anymore, not ever.

Reality Check

As cruise around in my 2005 ford focus, I sometimes find myself wishing I was sniffing a brand new car scent instead of Febreze. I sometimes wish I didn’t have to turn my music up loud so I don’t have to hear the roaring of my engine. When I look at the scratches and dents, or I “roll” up my window, I think, I want a new car! Do I need a new car? No! But I want a new car! Then I have to give myself a reality check. Truth is… life without car notes (after having one every year since I was 19) is sooo much better. Truth is… my car works perfectly fine. Truth is… when I take the time to vacuum it out, throw some Armor All on the dashboard, and ride through the car wash, my little baby will do just fine. So why do I have these moments? Simply because I get caught up in image, like many others. My ego takes over and temporarily I want to look like I feel. Status begins to trump common sense. But like I said, it’s temporary. I quickly return to my right frame of mind and realize that while I would look fly riding around in a 2012 whip, it doesn’t fit into my new life’s budget. I am just happy that I recognize it and am willing to live by it. Too many people I know choose to do the opposite. They stay in a new car they can’t afford or laced in labels while drowning in debt. All for what? To look good for other people who don’t help you pay your bills? This is what I have to remind myself when I want to follow that new boot trend or get the latest iPhone. What difference will it really make in my life???? The reality is it won’t. I may have a short-lived desire for it, but I have bigger and better long-term desires, and that is what I need to focus on. Creating more debt will not ultimately give me the life I want, but hard work, dedication, and investing will. As I continue to strive for all the visions on my vision board I know I will continue to have these moments and I will have to give myself a much-needed reality check. What are your thoughts?

Am I my sister's keeper?

So, I've been thinking a lot lately how we "sistas" don't necessary treat each other like family, but more like enemies, and I just want to know, does it all come down to envy? It's like as long as she has some sort of flaw, overweight,unattractive, uneducated...then she's cool. But curse her if she has it all, a career,beauty,body, great personality,talent, and man, then she's a B**** or she's stuck up, or conceited, or whatever other negative term we can assign her. Think about it, if Tyra Banks looked like Sheryl Underwood (You know, the monkey bread lady from the movie Beauty Shop), then she wouldn't get the slack she does now. I love Tyra, she's beautiful, talented, a hell of a business woman, and she gives back. And I don't even wanna go there with the things I read about about Beyonce. People constantly try discredit her, and wish her failure. I remember when I saw the online video of her falling on stage during her tour, people said, "That's what she gets!" Why, because she knows how to gain world wide appeal and has been a superstar since her teenage years? Or is it because she's drop dead gorgeus even without weave, and a body to kill for? Even her humble attempt to fix what Kanye did to Taylor Swift on the VMA's did not go unmet with negative remarks. For whatever reason she gets labeled an undercover B****, which I just find hard to believe. But hey, I don't know her. I mean, we love Queen Latifah, because she was the heavy set tomboy, we love Oprah because she publicly struggled with her weight, and hasn't been seen as a sex symbol.We love Mary J. because she came from the hood, and Keyshia Cole.But had they been college educated and lived in suburbs, would we feel the same?

I just know that it bothers me that we can't just love and support one other; that we smile in each other's faces, but secretly despise. Instead of looking at each other of inspiration, many Black women look at each other as competition, and it's disheartening.
I'm the type to wish my people well, because success for you, means success for all of us. On the other hand, I've been a victim of what we call, "hatin'" and I couldn't understand because I wasn't even where I wanted to be yet. But it was the energy I felt, the behind my back talk. Craaaazy!

It's just like the coffee cup video featured below, you gotta focus on you, not everybody else. And perhaps if we genuinely support and uplift our "sistas", good will come our way.

Recently I 've met a few women who show nothing but love and encouragement, and at first I was distrustful because if you weren't in my circle, I'd think you had ulterior motives. Now I'm slowly learning that just because I got burned by other so called "sistas" doesn't mean I shouldn't open my heart and mind to the possibility of real ones.

Now that I've vented, feel free to follow me and post a comment. Am I wrong? Do you agree or disagree? What are your experiences? Is it just the "sistas" or do other races do it? I wanna know