The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow

Yesterday I didn't get up when my alarm clock went off, so I lost 20 to 25 minutes of preparation, including breakfast.  It was snowing outside and the ride to work was long and treacherous. My teenage son was defending his failure to do chores through text messages. my toddler had been up all night complaining if growing pains. So I had McDonald’s and drank coffee, and Diet Coke and Pepsi (I know so bad). And I ordered a pastrami grinder with potato chips for lunch, just because I knew it would feel good. All to stay awake so I could work on my research (through my lunch and my break) so I can get one step closer to becoming Dr.Boz.  By the end of the day, I’d run out of steam. I mean I was too tired to even drink my Thursday night glass of Cabernet. On top of that, I had a headache and cramps, and it was cold outside. I was exhausted and cranky. But I was supposed to continue working on my writing which is due in a week. Instead, I decided to change into my sweats, take two ibuprofen, and drink tons and tons of water, and some decaf green tea.  I whipped up some quick chili for the family then I turned the lights down low, got lost in some mindless “reality” TV. When I got sleepy, I went to sleep. Robert Roberts once said that her mother told her,  "When you are having a bad day, just go to bed." I told myself that if I slept well tonight I would have more energy to keep fight tomorrow. 

Robin's mother was right. I was right. I woke this morning, made my eggs, and a healthy, vitamin-filled shake with almond milk for lunch.  I felt energized and yes, ready to finish that work. I feel so good that I had to write this post to share my take away from the last 24 hours.

 First, sometimes you just have to stop and take a break from whatever it is to rejuvenate, clear your head. Balance will be restored naturally. I ate horribly yesterday and drank horribly, but today I’m craving good stuff. My attitude was horrible, not just because of PMS, but also because I was frustrated with the challenges I was facing. When I get overwhelmed, I become a bit snappy, I become lethargic. Secondly, I was reminded that everything is temporary. The fact is I will have some major writing to do this weekend, but next Friday, I will be done. Sometimes we have to focus on the end result instead of dwelling on the struggle. When you are sinking you have to put your energy into swimming to land, not into the thoughts of drowning. #ICanDoThis

Ego Tripping (There may be a reason why)

It is so hard trying to do good in a world where people are always looking for bad. Judging and scrutiny can get the best of us, even me, the self-proclaimed “Queen of Self-Esteem.”But whenever I find myself pulled into the negativity I have to step back and look at two important things: Purpose and Outcome. What is it I’m trying to do and why? For me, it’s inspiring people, especially youth. Why? Because I am a product of it. Throughout my life, it’s been mentors, historical figures, art and music that have kept me going when I wanted to give up, that have forced me to see things in a more positive light. I want to do that for others because it can be life changing, literally. Inspiration can mean the difference between high school drop out and college grad, between a drug dealer and car dealership owner, between suicide and living. Why is so important because it helps us to maintain our integrity when we are tempted to compromise our standards, beliefs, and values in order to live out our purpose. It is also important because it distracts us from our own selfish reasons that may arrive. For instance, I want to sell 6million copies of my memoir to save 6million lives. Not to get rich, but to save lives. However, I would love to write professionally full time. I have to be wary of this when opportunities present themselves that may tempt me to stray. This is when I have to look at outcomes. I will know I am staying true on my purpose when I can see its effects. For me, it’s the youth I work with who flourish into productive adults who are accomplishing goals and making their mark on the world.  In the end, this is all that matters, not what other people think my intentions are, not what they feel I am doing, and not if it gets national exposure or millions of dollars. In the end, when you do what you’re passionate about, it will pay off in more ways than one.

Goals must never be from your ego, but problems that cry for a solution.

-Robert H. Schuller

Reality Check

As cruise around in my 2005 ford focus, I sometimes find myself wishing I was sniffing a brand new car scent instead of Febreze. I sometimes wish I didn’t have to turn my music up loud so I don’t have to hear the roaring of my engine. When I look at the scratches and dents, or I “roll” up my window, I think, I want a new car! Do I need a new car? No! But I want a new car! Then I have to give myself a reality check. Truth is… life without car notes (after having one every year since I was 19) is sooo much better. Truth is… my car works perfectly fine. Truth is… when I take the time to vacuum it out, throw some Armor All on the dashboard, and ride through the car wash, my little baby will do just fine. So why do I have these moments? Simply because I get caught up in image, like many others. My ego takes over and temporarily I want to look like I feel. Status begins to trump common sense. But like I said, it’s temporary. I quickly return to my right frame of mind and realize that while I would look fly riding around in a 2012 whip, it doesn’t fit into my new life’s budget. I am just happy that I recognize it and am willing to live by it. Too many people I know choose to do the opposite. They stay in a new car they can’t afford or laced in labels while drowning in debt. All for what? To look good for other people who don’t help you pay your bills? This is what I have to remind myself when I want to follow that new boot trend or get the latest iPhone. What difference will it really make in my life???? The reality is it won’t. I may have a short-lived desire for it, but I have bigger and better long-term desires, and that is what I need to focus on. Creating more debt will not ultimately give me the life I want, but hard work, dedication, and investing will. As I continue to strive for all the visions on my vision board I know I will continue to have these moments and I will have to give myself a much-needed reality check. What are your thoughts?